How to Build Self-Esteem in Kids: A Guide for Parents

Smart Ways to Boost Confidence in Children and Teens
Self-esteem plays a pivotal role in your child’s emotional development, academic success and social interactions. For tweens and teens — especially those with behavioral or cognitive challenges — building self-esteem is so vital. A strong sense of self-worth moving forward, can help students face life’s challenges and help them form healthier relationships.
Parents are a child’s most influential role models, according to the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP). Parents are the cheerleaders all kids need. While the journey to building self-esteem in teens and children can be challenging, the unwavering support of their parents or caregivers can make all the difference.
Building confidence in kids with behavioral and cognitive Issues
Children with behavioral or cognitive challenges often face unique obstacles that may affect their self-esteem. Struggles with academics, social relationships or emotional regulation may leave them feeling frustrated or inadequate.
For children with more serious cognitive conditions, building self-esteem may require extra effort. It requires collaboration with school counselors or therapists, who can provide additional tools and insights. You might start instilling confidence in your child by ensuring that both home and school environments are comfortable and drama-free.
8 Ways to Boost Confidence in Kids
For parents and caregivers, practical strategies can help strengthen self-esteem and self-reliance in kids.
- Celebrate the effort
Encourage a child to value the effort they put into tasks, regardless of the outcome. Giving statements of praise like, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project,” can teach kids to appreciate perseverance over perfection.
- Foster a growth mindset
Help your child view mistakes as opportunities for learning. Teach them to think, “I can’t do this yet” instead of “I’ll never get it right.” A more positive mindset encourages teens and children tackle new challenges without anxiety.
- Set simple goals
Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. For instance, if a child struggles with reading, start with short stories or reading poems. Small victories along the way can help build momentum and confidence.
- Encourage interaction
Strong social relationships with peers can significantly boost self-esteem in kids, according to NASP. Encourage your child to join clubs, sports or group activities where they might foster friendships and feel a deeper sense of belonging.
- Give unconditional support
Make sure your child knows that your love and acceptance are not tied to their achievements. Saying things like, “I love you no matter what,” reassures them they’re valued for who they really are.
- Tap unique talents
Every child has personal strengths and interests that parents can pinpoint with patience. Highlighting these abilities can help children see their own value. Start by identifying activities where your child excels, such as art, sports, music or technology.
- Teach problem-solving skills
Try to help your child work through challenges instead of fixing problems for them yourself. For example, if they’re upset about a conflict with a friend, guide them in brainstorming solutions. Knowing they can navigate difficulties on their own will build confidence.
- Limit negative influences
Monitor the messages your child receives from the media, peers or even well-intentioned relatives. Encourage positive self-talk and set limits on social media use, which can sometimes negatively impact self-esteem, according to NASP.
Building self-esteem is a lifelong process of learning, growing and adapting for both parent and child. Every moment of encouragement, each word of affirmation, can help plant the seeds of confidence that may bloom surely and steadily in children over time.
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